Memorare
by LuminiaAravis
Summary: The events of the two days leading up to the Yellow Box Warehouse. The world seems to be crashing down about Mello's head, and Light's starting to get nervous. L was more central to the Kira case than anyone can ever know. Rated T for crude language.
1. Flames

Light just stood there and smirked, his eyes glittering darkly under the winter streetlights. I wanted to get closer to the crime scene and investigate. At least, I would have wanted to had I not already known everything about the crime. Either Mello or Takada had set the fire, probably using gasoline, while being controlled by Kira. Kiyomi Takada was dead inside, and there was a distinct possibility that Mello was dead at last as well. Then again, I doubted that a mere act of arson would be enough to finish him off. At least, the Mello that I had come to terms with.

Light had to keep pretending that he had no idea what was going on, apart from that the fire was a freak accident. "It's possible that Mello's still here," he said. "Please search the surrounding city blocks quickly. He should be injured and fit to drop, at the least, making it easier for you to catch him." Like he expected us to find anything. I split up from Mogi, Ide, and Matsuda. Light stayed with the car, looking handsome and important in his three-piece suit. I spit in the dirt as soon as I rounded a corner, he sickened me so.

I picked my way north along the sidewalks of the city, keeping an eye out for potential Mello-esque hiding places. My frustration fueled my steps. I would let Kira get me if Mello had meant the kidnapping as just a kidnapping. He was smarter than that. But why had he done it now, when he knew that it was almost over? He must have known about the Yellow Box. The idea must have been last-minute. The plan itself, no matter its purpose, had been terribly crude and desperate.

I was just about to call it quits and head back to the car when I found Mello alone in a back alley. Funny, that's kind of where I expected him to be. Good thing I was looking. He was on the ground, hidden behind some trash cans, eyes closed and breathing heavily, sprawled out against the alley wall. His head turned sharply in my direction as I approached him, and he backed away from me.

"Wait," I implored, taking my gun out of its holster and setting it on the ground.

"Stay away from me," he said loudly, almost panicking.

"Don't go," I said. "I'm not going to harm you." He let me come to his side. I kept my voice low, and my eye level equal to his. "Are you Mello?"

He nodded shortly, still gasping for breath, as if he had run long and hard. "And you're Aizawa?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. I sat down next to him. "I know I'm no criminal mastermind, but I've gotta know: None of this was an accident, was it?"

"None of this was an accident. My plan worked perfectly, but there was just one hitch," he replied.

"What?" I asked.

"I survived."

"I'm sorry," I said automatically. Then what he said sank in. I remembered what Light had told us: that to Mello, losing and dying were the same thing. "Wait; what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Takada's a dumb broad who can't spell to save her life." He continued at my silence. "She had a piece of Death Note on her when I kidnapped her. She was supposed to kill me and then text Light telling him I was dead. Oh, Light fulfilled his duty and killed her, sure enough, and that's the important bit."

"Aren't you glad?" I asked. "I don't know how, and I don't particularly care how you survived, but aren't you relieved?"

"Why would I be?" he said harshly, giving me a piercing glare. "Look at me! This is all I have left in the world!" He indicated the trash bins and the alley. "I'm dead broke, I haven't got any friends to crash with, I'm out of ideas, and Kira's still on the loose! It can't get any worse!" he shouted, throwing his hands up in resignation. "And everyone's lives depend on Near being competent! Sweet Jesus, it can't get any worse," he said, mostly to himself.

"Please, let me help," I said.

He looked at me funny. "Why would I let you help me? You're with the NPA, aren't you, Suichi Aizawa? Aren't you currently rooming with Kira? Why the hell would I want you to help me?"

"God, I stopped trusting Light weeks ago," I said simply. "And I know from the bottom of my shoes to the top of my head that he's Kira. And I'm not just saying that. I've spent time verifying all of Near's conclusions, and they're all…spot on."

Mello was even younger than Light. It was astounding how much older he looked than him on the outside, though. Light's face was free of blemishes and lines, but there was that huge scar covering Mello's left cheek. His hair was lank and long around his shoulders and eyes, and his clothes were filthy to say the least. I felt like Light hadn't been a child in years, though. Kira wasn't a child. He wasn't an adult, either. Mello…was different. I saw a flicker of childlike hope in his eyes as he contemplated the end of the world that day… I couldn't place it at the moment, and took it as a good sign… You can believe how shocked I was later on when I realized that it was almost like Ryuzaki had come back from the grave to stare at me.

"My only enemy is Kira," I affirmed.

"You're a good guy," Mello said, appraising me. "So, what's the plan?"

"I arrest you, and make sure you live to see Kira in prison."

His face fell slightly at this, but he nodded. "What about Near?" he asked. "Should I call him? Do you have a phone?"

"I can't risk it," I answered. "See, Light's almost certain that I've been collaborating with Near for the last few months, but it would be all the worse if he got into my phone records. But in three days from now, I promise you'll have your chance at justice."

"Shit," he breathed. "Are you really going to arrest me? Take me down to the county jail and leave me to rot?"

"Knowing Light, there's no way in hell that you'll make it that far. My guess is that he'll keep you locked up in the hotel and try to get information out of you."

He almost laughed. "What information? He's cracking up if he thinks I know a thing about the SPK!"

"Tell that to Kira," I said morbidly. "Come on, I've still got to arrest you properly. Get up," I said, as I stood and got my cuffs ready. "You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…" But he wasn't getting up. He was hugging himself and shivering.

"It's fucking cold out," he indicated. "And if you don't mind, could you arrest me down here?"

"What is it?" I asked. Impulsively, I crouched down and put my hand on his forehead. It was blistering hot. No wonder he had been gasping for air. "You should be in a hospital," I said absently, taking off my overcoat and putting it over his bony shoulders. I put one of his arms over my back, and tucked the other around his ribs, and lifted him off the ground. He felt no more substantial than a bag of bones. "You weren't kidding when you said you were dead broke, were you?" I inquired, trying and failing fantastically to make small-talk.

"Emphasis on 'dead,'" he replied. "You ever try living on the street with five bucks a week?" His voice was getting hoarse, and his steps faltered the farther we went.

Light did a double-take when he saw the poor kid propped up between Mogi and me a few minutes later. My suspicions had been confirmed: Light had been hoping for Mello to drop dead for months, no, closer to a year now. I could see a vein pulsing underneath Light's perfect hairdo, and he clenched his fists. He grudgingly allowed Mello space in the trunk of the sedan. He had passed out since the alley, and lay prone in the pile of extra sweaters and blankets. I dawdled by the hatch so I could put a sleeping bag over him and cushion his head before we left for the hotel.

Something was up. Something bad.


	2. In My Head

"So you're Kira. I never thought we'd meet face-to-face…"

"Don't change the subject, Mello."

"You're Light Yagami, aren't you?" Mello said, his icy blue eyes open and attentive. He looked up at L's killer from where he sat on the bathroom floor, wrists tied tight behind him. "Chief Soichiro Yagami's eldest child, Sayu's older brother, the false L…"

"Did you put that silly idea in Mr. Aizawa's head about me being Kira?" Light asked dryly, shrugging.

"Don't talk down to me," Mello retorted. "Near has narrowed the suspects down to one: you. You don't have any suspects at all."

"Aren't you at odds with each other, though?" Light ventured. "How can you trust Near when he means to get rid of you?"

"He isn't doing this for me," Mello answered. "Near's too smart to play my game. Kira, though…" Light's face twisted into a darker mask. "Yeah, Near's smarter than you. He's probably smarter than me, too. I trust him with my life. In fact, I can trust him so wholly because I'm the one who put you on the list of suspects. I've known the 'thirteen day' rule is a fake for weeks now, and delivered the information to him. You've underestimated us."

"Do you mean to discredit L's conclusions?"

"No!" Mello shouted all of a sudden. "Everything L did was right! He didn't make any mistakes…the information he got was just all wrong. You bastard, you went behind L's back with the fake rule. I know all about the imprisonment, too. He was right to suspect you after that. You got L to fall in love with you and then you killed him."

The mention of L got Light less involved in the makeshift interrogation, and piqued his curiosity. He never turned down the chance to stick his nose in L's business. He decided to play the devil's advocate for a while. "Wait a moment," he said, as a student would to a professor, "how do you know about L's whereabouts during those months? He was with the task force constantly, from Kira's emergence to his death in early November."

"Right after his twenty-fifth birthday," Mello choked. "Watari raised us both. I know about L's reaction to your confinement and your little 'episode' afterwards. I know that he always suspected you of being Kira, but he let you work on the case with him… You drove him insane. He was never able to figure you out, but was _so_ in love with you, especially towards the end…"

Light took a moment to choose his words carefully. "We weren't exactly in love, per se…"

"You only hooked up about six or seven times and slept together every night," Mello added.

"You didn't know him," Light scoffed, starting to pace around the room. "He was older than you, and he left the house when you were, what, nine? Ten?"

"Exactly," Mello replied. "He was practically my father. I knew him as he was, not as a terrible machine of justice."

"L is justice," Light contradicted.

"L was justice!" Mello screamed.

Light stared at the floor so Mello couldn't see his face. "I killed a lot of people," he said nondescriptly.

"I remember how sturdy his arms were," Mello said softly. "I remembered how I would fight Near for a place on his lap near the fireplace in winter… He rescued me from my orphanage in the Soviet Union and showed me that there was more to life than lunch lines and early bedtimes… He taught me that being a genius is no reason to apologize. He taught me how to speak English and French, how to tie my shoes, how to piggyback satellites and play loops to security cameras, how to forge signatures and create identities, how to break out of prison and not get caught… He taught me how to tie people around my finger.

"Do you remember him, Light? Do you remember how he looked? It shouldn't be hard, although there are no photos of him… Do you remember that smell in the morning that told you he was awake: hot tea and a warm biscuit? Do you remember -"

Light lashed out at him and punched Mello in the face. The blond head snapped back and hit the wall with a crack, and blood started to ooze down the back of Mello's neck.

"Don't you _dare_ remember him to me!" Light roared. "Do you honestly think I've forgotten?!" Mello put his hand to his head and looked into Light's face. "My God, no wonder I was able to capture you! You're so fucking _stupid!_ How is there any way that I could have forgotten him?! Trust me, I've tried to! But he's still in my head…" Light raved, starting to sound like a madman. "I can still see him staring at me, and I think of him whenever I hear you or Near speak! Dear God, sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and half-expect him to be next to me!

Light turned his back on Mello again and closed his eyes, calming himself. It had been foolish to expose himself to Mello like that. This was no time to show weakness.

"You know," Mello said easily, "there are days when I'm willing to do anything to see him again. And I mean anything.

"I'm getting sick of this… I have no reason to be alive right now. Everything is in Near's hands. I'm…useless now. I haven't found anything new out about the case in weeks. There's nothing I can do to fix things. And if I die here, well… I'll tell L you said 'go to hell.'"

That earned Mello another punch in the face and a nosebleed. "I could die, you know," Mello said heavily. "I was living on the street last week, and you haven't bothered to feed me at all… I don't bluff about death."

"I couldn't care less," Light snapped. "Do whatever you want. Die on my bathroom floor. Fine with me." Light left the room and slammed the door.

Mello strained against the tape on his wrists. He curled up on the floor and brought his arms around back, ducking his feet over them, and brought his hands in front of his body. He panted, lying on his side on the cold tiles, trying to ignore the sensation of blood running down his face and head. He hadn't the strength left to shiver. "That went well."


End file.
